After such a heavy day yesterday we decide that we deserve a few relaxing days.
Its calling for HOT and full sun over the next 6 days- so we’ll take advantage of that- bounce around the pool and relax.I am up with the sunrise and walk to the kitchen and get some coffee- bring it back up to our deck to look out over Etna and the grounds of the house. Chris joins me for the second coffee- and we notice Gary- finally up- out at the pool claiming seats like we are at a resort…..chris and I just keep sipping our coffee. There are about 10 lounge chairs down there. All with the same view. And there are only 4 of us. Perhaps Etna’s ash is getting to him? Maybe he’s getting old enough to forget where he is? What ever- he walks up to a couple of chairs, puts towels on them and towel clips. A book on each chair to make sure none of the other scavengers at this pool will get them- and then walks back to his room very proud of himself. And I’m more then a little concerned. Also I wanted those chairs.
Once my bathing suit is on and coffee done, I head down to the pool where Nicole is already bouncing around on her floaty. I am just meandering along, carrying all my things….when I see it. An anaconda. Okay- not an anaconda, but THE LARGEST SNAKE I”VE EVER SEEN. Black as the night and that disgusting shiny that only a snake can be. About 10 feet long. And as big around as my arm. I don’t know who’s more scared. Him or me. I dance and scream and pee my pants, he BOOKS it along the wall by the pool to get away from the failing armed crazy woman in front of him. Nicole is now paddling back to the side of the pool in tears and hyperventilating. I’m not usually so afraid of snakes…I don’t like them, but usually I’m pretty calm. but I’m shaking!!! It was HUGE. Gary and I quickly look up on line snakes of sicily…and it seems this is a rat snake..and they can be VERY big…but not poisonous. Not that that makes me feel too much better.
The gecko’s that roam around are cute, but between them and the snake I will not be using any of these toilets without checking them out like a cranky house inspector, thoroughly inspecting for thinks that may crawl in my lady cave before committing to any pees.
After that heart workout, I am ready for breakfast, and I make a nice omelets for everyone from the carbonara egg whites. Then the real work begins. The relaxing. Chris is lathered up first- he can burn just thinking about the sun. so I go to work, painting him up with 2345 SPF. Then the flaoties are blown up and ready for boarding. The pool is 12 feet deep at the deep end. So we can use the diving board to jump in. its salt water! So our hair will be amazing, and we will be sticky with salt- my favorite part of ocean water.
We breakout the washer toss for a game or two. Yes we brought it to Italy. Of course we did. Its now been to India, Nepal, Spain, Italy, France, Gibraltar and Dominican- all stickered up from each stop. So out it comes- all the while me and nicole checking the grass for snakes desperately. That’s when we realize that may be we could teach the snake to fetch the washers? They get a little harder to pick up each year…and if we could teach the snake to fetch, and he ate one of the washers- maybe we’d solve 2 problems?? He’d be a lot easier to find with a 4 inch ring stuck in his throat—and it would be much harder for him to enter any caves, lady or otherwise, with a large ring in his throat. But he doesn’t show up. I’m sure he’s off telling his other snakes “and she was the whitest one I’ve ever seen, and as big around as two of the normal ones!! I looked her up on line and she’s not poisonous, but I did read that she’ll sauté anything she gets her hands on. So keep an eye out”.
Anyway, yes we play toss—and NICOLE AND I WIN!!!!! We never win. There was one time in Spain where we lost 35 games over a week. Because we don’t care mostly, but even when we did try to win we didn’t. So, When we win here…with Etna in the background…feeling powerful…we get REAL obnoxious about it- dancing around. We have to take advantage of the rare win. After washer toss I do some painting- who isn’t inspired by Etna roaring away? It would be pretty impossible to pass up the opportunity for the watercolors. The water here is an u unbelievable turquoise. It doesn’t look real- and I find it hard to even replicate it with paint without it looking like a cartoon. But the wine helps- the best I’ve ever had hands down. Nero d’Avola- it’s the type the make at the base of the volcano. And OMG, Its so rich and eatable!! A meal all of its own. If you ever see it- get it. You won’t regret it. I know I’ll spend the next years trying to find it in our NSLC.
Meanwhile Chris is doing laundry- he doesn’t sit still well. But its his happy place. He spends some time fixing a few things around the compound that he sees need attending.- don’t worry…all with a beer in his hand and a smile on his face. But the time we leave this place will be better- that’s how he does things.
Gary and Nicole are making a dent in the beer supply to the island and sizzling in the sun, Nicole with carefully placed murder fur in all her holes- snake proof.A few cats come to the side door in the kitchen as I’m in fixing a snack- I yell “GARY…THERES SOMEONE AT THE DOOR FOR YOU!!!!” and he hops up. Runs in shaking his cat treat bags. The cats gather round and take them from his hand although none of us can get anywhere near them. He has named the sweetest one “Harry” and gives him the best treats. Except hes a girl. But whatever. “Harrie” then. Details.
We have continued to try to freak each other out over and over in this house. There is a door that keeps getting opened randomly in one of the unused bedrooms- and then closed every now and then. No one will own up. Also, Chris disappeared for a bit in the afternoon- I didn’t think too much of it, probably re-shingling the roof or something…but then I hear him scream GARRRRRYYYYYYYYYYY from the upstairs. And I see a white streak go by the upstairs doors. Fast. FAST. And I swear he’s either wearing a white wet suit, or he’s naked. About 10 mins later He comes down and I’d have to type BLEEP way to much to tell you what he was saying. But he went right for Gary. Side note: When Nicole and Gary got back from their vacation to Mexico a few months back we went to their house and unscrewed all their lightbulbs just enough to have them come home after a long travel day to darkness at 2 in the morning, franticly trying to remember if they paid their power bill or if there was a breaker issue….only to reach up and slowly screw one of the bulbs in after an hour of panic- Gary with a “KARRENNNNNN” . Sooooooooo- Chris may have deserved this one. By proxy.It seems Gary stole all the TP in the house and hid it in his bedroom. At the other end of this GINORMOUS house. Chris had a situation-didn’t do a TP check before things got to happening. And then was in a pickle. Having to run for TP like a seagull being chased for the last french-fry. Cheeks clinched. Feet out first- leaning back …like that would help. He says he considered scooting his butt around their bed like Henry our pup would have, but knew he would just end up doing the laundry anyway- so thought better of it. So yeah. Now Gary has to worry about snakes AND Chris’s.
We have another nice bolognaise for dinner it will be made to lasagna for tomorrow nights meal. I can’t describe to you how amazing it was to make something so authentic here in this house.
I’m in my glory- between painting and cooking today- watching Etna blow in the distance, feeling an earthquake every now and then—which doesn’t seem to scare the locals—so we don’t focus on it too much.
We eat our dinner by candlelight and watch etna, drink some amazing wine and chat. Tomorrow we are doing a thing….we have booked a trip up Etna. Providing she doesn’t blow before then, we will be only about 1000 feet from her top tomorrow. I can bearly sleep thinking about it….fearful and SO excited at the same time.
Up early and cats fed, we are off to Etna!
We start the drive through the villages – Its so rural and Sicilian- reminds me of Greece really with its small roads and shepherds…at one point we are caught in a sheep jam- literally hundreds of sheep in the middle of the road. We have to wait while a dog and a man try desperately to get them off the road….and by desperately I mean they don’t really try at all. Time doesn’t exist in Sicily. There isn’t a rush for anything. So as we sit the sheeps are just nudged a little in the direction of our car….and they take their time too. Looking at US like WE’RE the issue…”why you are on our roads?”. The sweet doggo that is trying to simulate among them and get their trust is the exact same color as them and he just has this look on his face like he thinks they don’t know he’s a dog. Like he’s a pup spy getting all the sheepy intelligence- infiltrating them. He walks among them- invisible in his own mind. I swear I hear him baaawoof.
After a LONG TIME, the sheep make their way around and past our car and we away again. Starting the climb up Etna.
As you do the drive up her slopes you start to see old lava flows. Wide stripes down the mountain of black rock that looks like soil but is solid. Around the flows on either side are green areas, lush trees and bushes. They wind down the whole mountain, road built over them for the access. There are old homes encased in the lava from the various eruptions in the past. Not many have been killed- only 77 in recent 100 years or so. The lava only typically flows at 7km/hr so lots of time to move yourself- not your house, but yourself. So homes lost for sure- but not many lives. The biggest physical danger from what I understand is from when she blows- spewing HUGE rocks km’s into the air and down. A couple of tourists were killed while hiking a few years back when they were hit by rock. The climb is long- switchback after switchback.
And finally we are at base camp. A cluster of shops and ticket booths for the lift to the top. You can spend $30? to take you to the top on the suspended cable car and then pay extra to go a little further in a rover on the slippery sand. And of course we are all “shut up and take our money”…not really giving it much thought. I guess I didn’t have time to panic at first? I was so excited to go…..
As we board the lift to take us to the top, i realize, quickly, that i don’t like it. AT. ALL. First of all, it’s run by huge hamster wheels- honestly. see pic. Second, we are hanging on by a thread in my opinion. I’ve been on many a ski lift. but none suspended above hardened lava, or coated in black ash like this one is. At some point it also occurs to me that we are probably very lop sided- Chris and I on one side and Gary and Nicole on the other- them both only full of beer, Chris and I full of beer and pasta and breakfast wine and 2 cameras and my gigantic head. all the heavy things. I. Am. Terrified. it doesn’t help that we can see the burnt out carcass of the last lift, and the one before that….both destroyed in other eruptions- seriously…just slightly to the left and right. Husks of machinery.
Nicole and I are facing the valley on the way up- and we’re both too afraid to turn around and look at the volcano we’re heading towards. We can see to the left the other craters – The volcano’s slopes host several large calderas which formed when the roofs of magma chambers collapsed inward. They look like sinkholes and very ominous-like little mini volcano on their own.
But to be clear, for some reason- I’m not afraid of the volcano herself. The lift has me in panic attack mode…but Etna? she feels like a mother- the first thing I see when i get up in the morning is her peak. We stare at her all evening for sputters of light and smoke. We drink her wine- produced on her south slope and the best I’ve ever tasted in Italy. hands down. She holds stories of long passed soldiers, one now a belated friend. She is a constant reminder that no matter what bad has come out of Sicily, no matter what stories have been told or made up- feature movies about volatile men and stereotypes created…..SHE is the most dangerous thing on this island. and she’ll decide. But she’ll warn first. And she’ll give you chances, and forgiveness. Italy is male-strong. sexy. leather and tobacco. but Etna? I’ve never felt more female power at any other spot in the world- not that I’ve visited them all yet-I’m trying. I’ve seen places made of strong women, like India. I’ve seen places where women have fought back, like Napal. I’ve seen places where women are worshiped, like Spain and the rest of Italy. Where they are just as industrious and relyed upon as the men, like Greece. Where they hold the family together, like China. Where they intimidated the hell out of me, like France. But Sicily……she is a woman embracing you and winking at the men. She is comfort and strength, yet soft and boozy. Windswept and still perfectly coifed. She doesn’t scare me….she almost makes me afraid of myself; of my own power….she has a way of letting you see what you’re capable of- and then reminding you to only use your power for good. Nicole and I have talked several times about this- this feeling of power we have on this island.
SO as we approach the off ramp for the lift at 7500 feet, i feel like i could fly to the top on my own if i needed to. We’ve come to terms with the rickety lift, and the noises….and I’m filled with courage, and excitement. and by the time we board the rover for the trip up another 1200 feet to 9700- I’m comfortable. we board the rovers and off we go. these rovers have HUGE wheels and an accordion middle- so that as they slip and slide on the sand like ash, they stay upright. It feels like driving in a ton of fresh powdered snow. as climb up the last 1200 feet and are let out – where we walk another 300 feet up to the spot they’ve deemed as the last you can do on your own. In August 2021, The National Institute for Geophysics and Volcanology in Catania, Italy, reported that a series of about 50 small eruptions in early 2021 added about 100 feet to the elevation of Mount Etna. So at this time she’s at a new elevation of 11,013 feet (3357 meters)- and that is the volcano’s highest determined elevation in recorded history. WOW.
The walk is INCREDIABLE!!! its like you’d picture the moon, and a few times you walk into a bit of a valley. Black rock on either side. you can’t see the rest of the mountain, or the slopes down. or other people. and it seems like you are alone on some other planet. your imagination could have a field day here- the first explorers on a distant moon. i reach down and pick up a lava rock and i’m shocked at how light it is…and sharp like glass. As i pick it up I feel the ground……. And it is HOT. but I’m still not afraid for some reason. as we continue on, Etna makes noises. she growls and shakes. sputters and spits out stone (I even caught it on camera- the rocks being tossed out of her middle). we lay out a blanket and enjoy the first ever Muppet Caldera Pub- drinking our Muppet beer on a stolen Air Canada blanket on the slopes of an active volcano.
Our Italy trip is nearing its end….and its astonishing how we keep finding new adventures that seem to be better then the last. This one is up there with flying around Everest – actually for me it tops that. Because that one scared me the entire time, finding I couldn’t really enjoy it until we were safely on the ground. But this? I don’t think i’ve been this present in a moment in a long time. Certainly not in the past 3 years, just existing like everyone else…trying not to overthink the situation for fear i’d panic. but this is a thinking moment- a mental snap shot moment for sure. I see Chris get quiet- even more quiet then normal. I can tell he’s congratulating himself. This peak has a real sense of accomplishment- it kind of makes you think of all the things that you did to lead you here. Its like it doesn’t just give you a perfect vantage point of Cantania or the Med…it helps you see the landscape of your life too- I’m serious. I can’t stress enough what a life changing experience this is.
More than 25% of Sicily’s population lives on Etna’s slopes, and it is the main source of income for the island, both from agriculture (due to the rich volcanic soil) and tourism.Etna’s eruptions have been documented since 1500 BC. and she has experienced more than 200 eruptions since then, although most are pretty small in comparison to the earlier ones, or Vesuvius on the mainland. Etna’s most powerful recorded eruption was On March 8th, 1669. Mount Etna began to rumble, producing gas and loud clapping and banging noises. Despite this, the inhabitants of Sicily remained calm, ignoring the signs that she was most likely erupting. Over the next three days noxious fumes began to be emitted. 3,000 people who were living on the slopes died from asphyxiation, but without our modern communication, the islanders still failed to see the danger. Shortly after that, the molten lava began to spill with such force that ash was reportedly seen over 100 miles away. 17000 more were killed in the city at its base. 20,000 in total died.Then an extremely violent eruption in 1852 produced more than 2 billion cubic feet of lava and covered more than three square miles in lava flows-the ones we saw on our way up here.Etna’s longest eruption began in 1979 and went on for thirteen years; its latest eruption began in September 2013, and is still ongoing- although as of February of this year, a new fissure vent and lava flows started on the north slope…and just last night a LARGE eruption sent lava flows down her slope once again- I have a feeling we are very fortunate to be able to tour her today…shes up to something.
We finish our beer and we each seem to go off on our own for a few minutes. Muppets scattered everywhere. She makes a few VERY loud noises as we make our way back to the rovers for the trip back down. People OOOO and AWWWWWW as they board. Pretending that they are just being casual…but a little spring in the step to get on board quickly.WE are full to the top with this experience. Rejuvenated. Getting from yet another trip what we come for: perspective and knowledge. a sense of exploration. A reset of our ego’s.But we are NOT yet full of trinkets. So off to the shop at the top we go….buying almond and pistachio booze, t-shirts and a sticker for the washer toss box. We get some fresh made pizza and eat it on the deck – all quiet..watching the show..and noticing the ash all over the table when we sit down. We wipe it off, and by the time we are done our pizza it is full of ash again- tiny little pebbles all over us and the table. We didn’t notice it until now, but I think we may be bringing her back in our lungs-not sure if that scares me or makes me feel just a little more part of the earth, a little more powerful. Back down the lift and now were sitting on the other side- Nicole and I watching the mountain in front of us, seeing Etna start to get a little more angry- black smoke coming out her top and a vibration in the earth. I weirdly start to get a little more nervous again the further we get from her- the REAL danger on the island. I can’t explain it. Don’t want to. But she felt like a hug and I somehow feel we are letting go of a warm embrace as we drift further and further in the pod.We chatter and smile, laugh and dance our way back to the car. WHAT. A. DAY.We drive down on around the other side of Etna, and take a tour of all the vineyards and wineries. The soil is so fertile and it is well known for its produce and grapes. the main grape is the Nerello Mascalese. its a thin skinned, aromatic grape- small and very deeply colored. The wine is dark like a Pinot Noir-and you need a fork and knife. A wine you can enjoy all by itself-it needs no cheese or meats. we drive up and down impossibly tiny roads….the provincial highways! backing up constantly when another car is coming, tucking into small driveways to allow passage.Eventually we make our way back to our home and sit for a bottle of Etna’s best while we stare at her, asking her for a show again tonight. and she obliges…starting to spew just as Nicole and I win the second Washer toss game played in Italy. so that’s 2 and 0. CHris doesn’t take too kindly to that. well…it could be because Nicole and I start to sing “we are the champions” at the top of our lungs, accompanied by our best Queen moves. Even Etna makes a rumble for us. so Chris chases us both around the pool and eventually succeeds in throwing us both in- very ballsy for a man who can’t swim on an island that gives women super human powers. but whatever, the pool is salt water…so our hair will be amazing in the morning. thank you Chris- now go practice your washer throwing…try to throw more like a girl would ya?A rummy in the courtyard and we are all ready for bed. tucked away with Etna working hard in the back ground- we can see her from our bed, so we fall asleep watching her.
Up early and today, and all the days until we leave on Tuesday, are just relaxation days. So we bounce around the pool – work on our tans. We play another game of Washer toss, and the ladies win again. that’s 3 of 3. Thank you Etna. We feel a few earthquakes during these days- nothing huge, but enough that we can feel it-and we have an earthquake tracker on my phone that tells us if there has been one, so each time we feel something we look on there- more often then not one is recorded– i do not however have a Gary fart tracker on my phone. so some of them will just have to go un-verified.One time we are sitting at the dock at the base of our villa when a HUGE section of rock breaks away and falls to the beach below. we all just kind of sit there mouths gapped open…..what just happened??? no wonder there are cracks in the stucco and tiles here. the ground is alive!I paint and sleep, Nicole reads and sleeps, Gary chats and sleeps, and Chris sleeps and sleeps. We are soaking in every last drop of this sunshine and quiet. Staring at the landscape, trying to etch it in my mind. Painting it so i don’t forget even a bump in the horizon.
on Sunday we have Kraft dinner for lunch. And hotdogs. We’re Canadian. And Nicole always brings a couple boxes with her- as a joke. And then we always eat it like savages. I complain the whole time but secretly like it. This time I add a TON of cheese from the fridge just so I feel less weird about it. Bouj it up at least a little.
“Gary there’s someone at the door for you…..”
He goes his nightly feed of the cat tribe- the flying bag of fur kitty who was trapped in the house has warmed up to us again and is always front and center for her din din and snuggs. and they eat good- left over pasta mostly. I look up on line to see why we are seeing so much more smoke from Etna, and it says that a huge fissure was opened last night- and now the mountain is closed down- no tours or lifts. So we got there just in time!!! part of me is worried about the flight back being cancelled, and another part of me is worried the flight back won’t be cancelled. I could stand a few more days here—I’m not quite orange enough yet.And now were cleaning out the fridge and making the kitchen sink pasta that gets made every time we go away. bacon and every one of the veggies that are left in the fridge, all the leftover cheese and the bread.
And before we know it, its time to leave to drop off our rental car and catch our plane.
As we take off from Catania Airport we get one last look at Etna. I’ll miss her- but also, she’s with us.
one thing to note is that we decide to have breakfest in Rome before we catch our flights to Toronto. But the Italians dont do breakfest. So we find ourselves with bagel sandwiches instead. I order the Parma ham one. Chris the caprese one. And Gary, just before we gets on a 9 hour flight, gives it a lot of thought….and then orders the CURRY CHICKEN BAGEL. what the??…. So when we board the flight, I see Gary get up for the bathroom once he’s situated in his seat. And I think- gray idea. Let’s get this pee stuff out of the way before take off. So I get up behind him and wait for the bathroom at the back of the plane. Soon a line is formed as we wait and wait. The attendant comes over and says- “sorry – the one on the other side is occupied also. You’ll just ah e to wait here”. No problem. It’s okay…… the woman behind me leans in and says “oh no. Did you hear that? Someone isn’t feeling well…..” we wait and wait. And wait. She is saying “I wouldn’t want to be that person. Must be really feeling ill….” Finally Gary emerges. And as he walks by (remember this woman has NO IDEA I know this dude or am traveling with him), he smirks, and looks me in the eyes- and says “good luck in there…” and starts the laugh. I turn to the woman behind me and say “what an idiot” and she concurs. Still having no idea I know him.
The wine is served quickly and often. I think the flights back to the west realize you just had a great vacation and need to commiserate on the way home. So they keep it coming.
We missed travel so much, that I think we worried we’d forgotten how. Or that it wouldn’t feel as comfortable. But we are children of this world- birds that can’t be caged. Our comfortable spots are the uncomfortable spots-and we learned pretty quickly when we started a few weeks back that we didn’t forget- we just set the explorers hearts aside for a while. But they’re back. and although this trip has come to a close, we know there will be more. Covid didn’t take away our hope, even if it did take away a few trips. We talk about next trip ideas on the plane while we fly above Spain over a bottle of wine. South africa? New Zealand? Japan? Nicole and I are off to Paris in the fall. Chris and I will no doubt do a trip in February- maybe back to Arizona. Nicole and Gary will do their trips to here and there in the meantime-putting us all to shame. But next May will be all we think about until its time again……….Thank you for all your messages and kind words Muppeteers. We love you all- and can’t wait to travel with you again ❤️
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