Shut Up and Take My Money

First of all, don’t ask me what I paid for this trip. Not because its rude- wouldn’t mind at all- except I have no bloody idea. This was most certainly a “shut up and take my money” situation. I don’t know if I need to have Chris work overtime, if I need to invest in some fishnets and set up downtown, or if it was paid for with cerb money. NO. IDEA. Nicole and I had a deal- tell me when you need a credit card, and don’t tell me how much your putting on it.
To that end, I quickly decided that when we all finish work on Friday, we need to be in vacation mode. So a plan was hatched to stay at the Airport Hotel- The Alt- the night before we leave. Lets squeeze every last drop out of this vacation.
So, packed a week before, Saturday morning we started to prep for the trip. We cleaned the house (nothing worse then coming home to a disorganized house), got in all the last Henry puppy snuggles, and prepped ourselves for burial- Shaved every square inch of our bodies. Like, we are ready for the swim team at the Olympics. In fact, Chris is so pale from lack of sun and hairless that we’ve started to call this his “Make a Wish” vacation. Whenever someone says “isn’t he a little old for a make a wish?” we just shrug and say “covid delays”. Seems to be the answer to everything so people accept it and move on.
Off we set at 2pm for the hotel and a sleepless night. I’ve said it before- the Alt hotel is like if Ikea had a porn department. And although our room is lovely, I’m always prepared to walk in to the suite and find a bunch of wood, 3 Allan keys and Scandinavian sign that says “make yourself at home-and also your bed” on the floor. Not to mention I keep expecting to pull out the drawers built into the bed and find an array of toys and butt-less chaps. It just has that feel- Amsterdam meets Dartmouth crossing.
Our flight leaves at 5am- and with covid it is suggested that we arrive even earlier then the 2 hours usually suggested. So we should really get to bed early- no later then 8pm- since we have to be at the airport across the street by 2:30ish. So we order pizza at 9pm and play games and drink a few bottles of wine and get to bed around midnight. It’s the Muppet way. Sigh. And having not traveled in a couple of years, we are all very nervous about the flight. Like first date gitters nervous. Like Karen hyperventilating and having the blood pressure of a rabid raccoon nervous. But in the end, although I’m RAMPED when we arrive at the airport, I fall into a calmness by the time we get on the plane, and we’re all excited about the marvel of travel and the privilege we have of flight by the time we take off.
For those wondering, the airport in Halifax at least is very quiet- but normal. The check in process isn’t any harder then it was pre-covid. There was more paperwork to do- some arrival and departure paperwork for Dominican, and proof of vaccine to upload. We all have our “arriveCAN” apps and vaccine passports on our phones. A few questions about symptoms and we can see we are being watched for unreported symptoms. But other then that-no different.
But the travelers are different. We are among the pseudo-brave- and implied fist pumps are given with eye contact from anyone else we see with a “I’m going south” look about them. And trust me- you can tell the pleasure travelers from the work travelers. There is a certain desperation from the vacay-ers. An air that says “screw it. I’m DONE. I’m ready to take my chances with a mask and a couple of vaccines”. There is a comradery between us- and maybe its more of a “if this is a bad idea, I’m glad I’m not alone…”, but whatever it is, there are more doors held open, more thank you’s and please’s, more patience and more smiles then I’ve seen at a security line up. A greatfullness. Its throat lump worthy.
We get on the Air Canada flight to Dominican after changing into resort worthy clothes at the Toronto airport….and it looks like this just might happen…we just might make it to the DR. we’ve been very skeptical this whole time- trying not to get our hopes up for yet another trip (we’ve booked and cancelled 5 during the past 18 months….). The plane has a Canadian flag on the wing that is flashing on and off the entire flight like a beacon of hope- or like a Canadian Batman symbol. I keep expecting to see a beaver in a leotard show up on the wing to guide us to safety…or better yet…Justin. Shirtless and hairy- tussled hair, hands on hips, Captain Canada emblazoned on his chest….saying “I’m here to save you all” in english..followed by french…..…..wait….what was I talking about?? Oh right, the flight. Ahem. Sorry. Yeah so, we have a nice flight and arrive a few hours late due to some snow in Toronto…but WE ARRIVE and that’s all that matters.
The DR airport in Punta Cana is organized and thorough with their Covid protocol and we quickly get through customs and collect our luggage-finding our driver and Suburban (after finding 4 beers just outside the airport) and we are off to our resort.
Our rooms are just as we asked for- stocked with beers, rum and vodka. Each with their own pool and walking plunge bathtub. As I walk in I have a brief moment of “wow….maybe I should have paid more attention to what we were paying for this…..” but I tamp that feeling down with a beer and move on. This is 5 trips in one- and I’m so happy to be anywhere besides Hantsport, I can’t muster too much thought about it.
We walk around the resort and take note of al the nice pools and sitting areas. We choose our beach spot for the next morning, and choose the French restaurant for supper- I’ll elaborate on the celebration that tonight is in the next post. But for now just know there are lots of held back tears and serious discussions during tonight’s dinner- which was decent food- not A+, but certainly decent. Lots of discussion of how hard the people of this island have had it over the past couple of years. No CERB to keep them going, their biggest business gone, earthquakes and death. Its been tough. And I’m almost out of tip money by the time we leave dinner that first night.
After dinner Chris and I decide we should try out our plunge bathtub. And we also decide were professionals and don’t need to A) be particularly sober or B) pay any attention to the “top fill line” indicated boldly on the side of the tub. Nope..not us. We’re professional bathers. In fact, we’re going to bring the cupcakes we were given in our room upon arrival and the champagne. Do this “Friday night at the Keddy’s” style. So we do, and we almost immediately get distracted with the bubbles and the candles…..and eventually look for our plate of cupcakes…only to discover they are floating down the hallway….on the wave pool we created. With the overflowing tub. We’ve caused a Dominican tsunami- our very own wake. Debris and towels floating to god knows where. Chris mounts our empty suitcase and uses a bottle of Hawaiian tropic to paddle his way to safety- using underwear and palm frawns to battle the water back towards the bathroom while I’m trying to find the number for FEMA and write “HELP” in lipstick on the huge glass windows surrounding the tub. Good news is we get it under control eventually, we have the cleanest bathroom on the resort, and cupcakes are just as good wet when you’ve been on diet for 6 months. So we have that going for us.
The next morning we are up at FIVE THRITY. I can’t believe it. There is no time difference here from home as they don’t do daylight savings..so I’m shocked to find out that we are still on our home schedule. We are freaking WIDE awake and ready to go! And even more crazy is that the breakfast restaurant is open at 6 when we get there all suited up and carrying every beach worthy thing I brought with us. After we eat we get down to the beach by 7am and see that Nicole has already chosen our spots and secured them for us with chair clips and towels, and beers. She must have been out here at 4am. Wow. We sit, tip the bar staff to set expectations high, get out the books (that to this minute three days later I haven’t even cracked open) and promptly fall asleep. When we wake up and ask what time it is we are told its 9am. HOW did we sleep for 2 hours? We chalk it up to how hard we’ve been working for this trip…how mentally exhausted we’ve been for months…blah blah blah. Really patting ourselves on the back. “we needed this…”. Nicoles says “wow. You guys never take a ½ hour nap at home? Like, it was 30 minutes….totally acceptable….”. that’s when we realize that the clock in our room is 1 ½ hours slow. Good lord.
We are by FAR the whitest people on the beach. The newbie’s . Everyone is looking at us like they’ve been here for years and we’re so cute with our white underbelly’s and sunscreen streaks. Chris is so white that Gary keeps calling him “Whitey Bulger”. He’s real proud of the Bulger part. Not so much the Whitey part. We expect to see a raft of Cuban’s show up, having mistook him for the white sandy beach of the Florida Key’s. Helicopter search and rescue are appearing from all around- only to fly away- realizing where just more Canadians after covid. A fellow Canadian named Neil actually comes out to the water and fist pumps Chris for “representin”. They form a weird little “whitest guys on the beach” club- He says he’s so happy to see someone as white as him just tryin to make it out here. From that moment on every time he sees Chris come out to the water at the beach he comes out too and they bond. Counting each others veins and talking about “that one time” they completely pealed over from head to toe because they went outside in October without sunscreen thinking they were safe, or the time they almost got run over while walking on the side of the road after a fresh snowfall. Its actually beautiful to see him making friends.
After a few hours of sun lazing we head back to the room and order room service. We order so much that they ask how many people are there -I assume to send up the appropriate amount of plates and utensils- but I panic and say 6 because I feel judged. And make no mistake, Jeff and Darlene are real eaters. Glad we brought them……
We blow up or floaties- okay Chris blows up or floaties….giving himself blue lips and almost passing out…scary, but those are the hardships we have to face during vacation. Sigh.
We eat and float in Nicole and Gary’s pool for the afternoon- all falling asleep and getting the first burns.
We go to karaoke on the second night and watch the most people I’ve seen together in one place in 18 months have a big party. Its so foreign and beautiful that I catch Nicole and I both tearing up. Just a bunch of drunken idiots having the time of their lives….certainly the time of their past 18 months. Everyone there singing along to Don’t Stop Believing- dancing and high fiving perfect strangers…the gasp and rush to the stage when Lose Yourself – Eminem comes on- me singing every word with a huge smile- Feeling part of something- part of a group of real live 3-D people…. Not realizing until that moment how much we missed it. Staying until 1am because we don’t want to let it go- it seems to delicate- now that we have the knowledge that it can be taken away so easily.
The next few days are filled with food and drinks and laughs. I’m finding it hard to relax and it takes me a solid 2 days to get to the point where I don’t feel “bored”. Which is crazy since that’s all I’ve wanted for months and months- but there is certainly something to be said about losing the ability to gear down. I keep obsessively checking the news and facebook and texting mom to check on them and the dogs. But its starting to work now. I’m napping and day dreaming. Feeling the urge to paint and drinking wine like its my new job. Nicole is the same. Gary is just in his glory with all of us here giggling and chatting- already doing what Gary does and planning the next trip. And Keddy??? HE INSTANTLY RELAXED. I’m not sure how….but he relaxed the minute we left home. Shoulders dropping and forehead creases gone. I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone in need of a vacation more- because I’ve never known someone to give more to others then him- working at his job like lives depend on it lol- and helping friends like HIS life depends on it. So seeing him relax is heartbreakingly wonderful- that’s enough of a vacation for me- watching him happy and healthy and calm.
So we’ll do more of the same for a few more days. I’ll write again at some point. Starting to feel the need to run abate-slowing to a walk……